Playing the Card

One of the hidden little perks of having twins is that, for a couple years at least, you have a handy, ready-made excuse that pretty much can cover every little mistake or oversight in your life. Forget a friend's birthday? Sorry - I've got twins! Front yard has been neglected for the past 18 months and looks like crap? Well, twins! Forget an important anniversary? (cough) (Kathy!) (cough) Er, well - y'know - twins!

Last week, Kathy and I walked all the way to our Music Together class before Kathy discovered that she was wearing two different shoes. And for the record, it wasn't two similar shoes, like two slightly-different-colored work shoes or something - it was one sneaker and one work shoe. I'm actually not quite sure how you could possibly leave the house without noticing that you were wearing one sneaker and one work shoe, but somehow Kathy managed to do it. Now, while in a normal person this would be the sign of oncoming dementia or supreme stupidity, fortunately for Kathy, people kinda expect these kind of things out of the mother of twin toddlers. Kathy didn't even have to say the excuse out loud -- you could just see it in people's faces as they looked at Kathy and her mismatched shoes. Oh. Must be the twins. Poor woman.

It's one heckuva trump card. Along with being an excellent excuse, the twins card can also be used to inspire other things, like sympathy or awe. Sympathy is particularly handy if you're at a hotel and trying to ask for a special favor. You'd be amazed at how much more motivated hotel front desk people to allow you to check in early when you're carrying two babies who are totally losing it. But the awe factor is the big perk, one that helps you feel like it's all worthwhile. It doesn't happen that often, but once in awhile, I'm with the girls at the playground by myself and they're in a good mood and being really easy and super-cute and basically charming the pants off all the moms at the playground. And I'm playing with them, and for a few moments, I'm making the whole parenting thing look really easy. And then one of the moms will say something to me like "I don't know how you do it with twins - I have trouble with just one!"

It's a nice moment, I gotta say. I'll usually just smile and say something like "Oh, it's really not that hard". Which is a lie, of course. It is that hard. In fact, in just a few minutes, the girls will be biting each other and/or slapping each other's face or something and I'll have to figure out how to simultaneously scold Leah for slapping and Riley for biting. But until that happens, I just preserve the awe as long as I can. It's one of the perks.