Leah vs. Riley

According to all the books, one of the things you're supposed to avoid when raising twins is comparing them to each other. Comparing twins to each other creates competition between the twins, and competition is baaaaad. Because competition breeds resentment, and anger, and animosity, and anguish, and all those other "a" words that you're not supposed to subject your children to.

So, sure -- don't compare your twins to each other. Makes total sense. Except for the fact that one day the twins are actually born and you realize that pretty much all you do is compare the twins to each other. All day, every day. You can't help yourself. They're sitting there, right next to each other - how can you not compare them? That's just human nature, right? You put two things next to each other in front of us, dammit, we're gonna compare them - it's what we do. Even back in preschool, we were comparing -- comparing squares to circles, comparing Goofus to Galant, comparing Ernie to Bert, comparing, um, Jan to Marcia.

Come to think of it, about 95 percent of this blog is me comparing the twins to each other. Oops - Twin parenting FAIL.

As a parent, I just can't help noticing that Leah's a better eater, and Riley's better at moving around, and Leah sleeps better, and Riley cries less, and Leah smiles more, and Riley poops more easily, and on and on and on. If I didn't notice, that would just mean I'm not paying any attention. I guess Kathy and I could try to avoid comparing Leah and Riley, but I'm pretty sure we'd have to stop talking altogether. Or talk only about Michael Jackson and Jon and Kate Gosselin and American Idol, I guess.

Since it seems impossible to avoid comparing them and inciting unhealthy sibling rivalry, I've decided I might as well embrace the competition. I say compete, compete, compete, children! First one walking gets daddy's love!

Okay, maybe not. But is fun to devise little mini-competitions and see who comes out ahead. Both girls started "cruising" this past week (or, for the non-parents out there, "walking while holding on to the couch"), and they're both starting to build up some confidence with it, so this weekend I thought it would be cool to start Leah on one end of the couch and Riley on the other end of the couch, then put one of their favorite toys in the middle of the couch (otherwise known as "the TV remote"), and watch them each scramble to be the first to grab the toy.

As we began the first official Leah/Riley Race, both girls took off pretty quickly toward the center of the couch. Leah, in particular, took off like a shot. It was at this point that I realized that I hadn't thought through this race thing very well and that the girls were probably gonna just crash head-on into each other and that Leah was going to trample poor Riley and anything else that stood in the way of her precious remote control. Fortunately for us, Riley's an easily distracted girl. On the way to the remote control, she noticed a burp cloth lying on the floor and turned to stare at it for awhile. Then she kinda forgot what she was doing, so she started just bouncing in place and shouting "Eh! Eh! Eh!" Then she started staring out the window at a parked car. Meanwhile, Leah stood there triumphantly with her spiffy new remote control.

I guess we'll let Riley live in her non-competitive dream world for just a little bit longer. But next weekend, it's Leah vs. Riley, Round 2: This Time It's Personal.