Point, Da-Da

Kathy is always accusing me of being too competitive. In our pre-baby days, we would play board games against each other some nights, and Kathy would usually lose because I grew up playing these board games all the time. And in the aftermath of another loss, as I tried to keep myself from gloating, Kathy would glare at me and say “You’re so freaking competitive”. Although sometimes she would use a different word for “freaking”.

I have to admit that I’m fairly competitive, but I always thought that Kathy calling me competitive was like the Pot turning to the Kettle and saying “You’re so freaking black”. After you’ve known Kathy awhile, you realize that she is actually very competitive about things that she decides to be competitive about. The babies, it turns out, are one of those things.

The girls are now 9 months old, and although the books say that many babies start crawling around 8 to 9 months, Leah and Riley are not yet crawling. This is driving Kathy bonkers. Never mind that the books also say that some perfectly healthy babies don’t learn to crawl until 10 to 12 months and that some babies actually never learn to crawl. Never mind, also, that our lives are going to get a heckuva lot more difficult when the babies do actually learn to crawl and that all the parents of crawling babies tell us to enjoy this time while we can. Mommy sees all the other babies crawling, so she wants her babies to crawl because dammit, we’re getting left behind here, girls.

When we meet parents at the playground or through other friends, the first thing Kathy will do is find out (a) how old their baby is, and (b) if he/she is crawling yet. Whenever the mother says that her baby is older than Leah and Riley and is NOT crawling yet, I find it fun to watch Kathy try to keep a straight face when I know that her gleeful heart is saying "Yessssss!". And the other day, when we were listening to a mother talk about how her babies had started crawling at 6 months, you could almost see the dark cloud of bitterness and envy raining down over Kathy’s head, complete with little lightning bolts.

I have to admit, though, that my competitive side was pretty pumped last week when I won the ever-so-prestigious "ma-ma" versus "da-da" competition. That's right, folks. Leah and Riley have both started saying "da-da" on a consistent basis, and much to Kathy's dismay, we've yet to hear from "ma-ma". I realize on some level that the fact the girls said "da-da" before "ma-ma" doesn't mean anything except that they happen to like the way the letter"D" sounds better than the way the letter "M" sounds. But I'd be lying if I said that part of me isn't secretly gloating, saying "in your face, ma-ma!" and doing a little touchdown-style dance of joy. "Secretly" being the key word, because I wouldn't want Kathy to think I'm competitive or anything.