Twin Bonding

One of the things I've been looking forward to most about having twin daughters is watching that close twin-sisterly bond grow between them. I think my expectations might have been a bit unrealistic. For some reason, I kinda expected the bond to be obvious right away -- like they were going to pop out of the womb holding hands. And singing "I'll Be There For You" in unison or something. I dunno, at least some evidence of their impending lifelong bond.

The truth is, today is their 4-month birthday and there still ain't much of a bond as far as I can tell. They have become more somewhat aware of each other, but it's been a slow progression. I think I can break up the progression so far into four basic phases:

Phase 1 -- Obliviousness: Otherwise known as the "Twin Sister? What Twin Sister?" phase. During the first week or so, we could've stacked the two babies on top of each other and they still wouldn't have known that the other one was there. Riley could be crying at the top of her lungs with Leah inches away and there would be absolutely no reaction from Leah.

Phase 2 -- Annoyance and Hostility: After the first week, Leah and Riley seemed to realize that the other one was there only when we laid them down side by side facing each other. Kathy and I did this often during the first month, as we were very excited to watch our babies interact. Of course, during the first month, babies are still just spastically flailing their limbs around in random fashion. So, what would usually happen is that Baby 1 would kick Baby 2, causing Baby 2 to cry and wave her arms around wildly, causing her to poke Baby 1 in the eye, which caused Baby 1 to kick some more, etc. -- basically creating an endless loop of kicking and scratching that would end only when we finally separated them to outside the flailing radius.

Phase 3 -- Disinterest: During the next couple months, Leah and Riley seemed to be aware of the existence of the other twin, but didn't really care much one way or another. We would put them in front of each other and they would stare at each other blankly for about three seconds, then turn their attention to something else. Anything else. The blank screen of the TV, the painting on the wall, the cat, the ceiling -- all far more interesting to them than their sister lying right in front of them.

Which leads us to Phase 4. I don't quite know what to call Phase 4 other than to say that it's a level just slightly above "disinterest". Right now, when Kathy and I we put Leah and Riley on the mat next to each other, Leah will usually grab Riley's arm or hand, put it in her mouth, and start chewing on it.

Maybe the best term for Phase 4 would be "Hunger".

Also, when they're both in a good mood, Leah and Riley will now coo and babble in unison, creating the vague and unconvincing illusion that they are having a conversation. A conversation where both people are talking over each other and neither person is remotely interested in what the other one is saying.

Actually, maybe that IS starting to sound like a normal sister-sister relationship.

The other good thing about the Hunger phase is that it provides plenty of fodder for cute pictures where Leah and Riley are holding each other's arms (i.e., right before Leah puts Riley's hand in her mouth):