Just Play Along

One thing I totally was not aware of before I had kids is that the whole toddler “playdate” thing is a total sham. It seems that the toddler playdate is a big parental fabrication created by parents out of pure desperation to talk to other adults and temporarily distract themselves from the semi-mindnumbing daily toddler routine. You sit your kids in front of some toys or bring them to the playground, and then you watch the kids totally ignore each other for a couple hours except for occasionally stealing each other toys. Meanwhile, the parents communally gossip or lament the loss of their previous lives between interruptions every 10 minutes to feed/change/scold/comfort their child. Or, um, children.

And despite the fact that they don’t actually play with their playdate friend, Riley and Leah will spend the next 48 hours talking about their friend in obsessive detail.

“Sylvie was eating blueberries!”
“Sylvie’s wearing a purple shirt!”
“Sylvie likes hamburgers!”
“Sylvie’s got two mommies!”
“Sylvie eats bunny crackers!”
“Sylvie brought cupcakes!”

Our girls get a little food obsessed sometimes.

Their friends all refer to them as “LeahnRiley”. As in “LeahnRiley, do you want some bunny crackers?” Or “LeahnRiley, it’s my turn.” If forced to refer to one of them individually, about 93 percent of the time they will get it wrong, which makes me think that Riley must look more like a “Leah” and Leah must look more like a “Riley”. I guess we named them wrong. Dang it.

Once in a long while you’ll get an inter-toddler conversation, which as far as I’m concerned is pure gold. Here’s an example from this weekend:

Leah (out of nowhere): I got a blue shirt.
Sylvie: I got a white shirt.
Leah: I’m wearing shoes.
Sylvie: I’m wearing shoes too.
Leah: I like cupcakes.
Sylvie: Yeah.
(end of conversation)

Me too, Leah. Me too.