Count On It

A few weeks ago, Kathy came home from one of her twin mom group events with a life-changing piece of advice. The big pain in the butt with twin toddlers is that they always both want the same toy at the same exact time and will fight to the death to get it. And since we have learned the hard way that 23-month olds just stare at you blankly with zero comprehension when you suggest "sharing", as a parent you are left with the choice of (a) trying in vain to distract one of the kids with food or something shiny, (b) trying some kind of enforced sharing where you physically pry the toy in question from the clutches of one hysterically-crying twin, or (c) sitting back and watching inevitable toy tug-of-war and placing bets on who's going to win.

My money's always on Leah, by the way. That girl does not let go.

So I guess the twin mommies were commiserating about this difficult little dilemma, and one of the mommies - let's call her "Godsend" - suggested making a little "taking turns" game, where each kid gets to play with the toy for like 10 or 20 or 30 seconds and then hands the toy off to the other kid.

Kathy was telling me about this and right on cue, the girls started fighting over their favorite toy at the time, which was the rocking horse. So we decided, what the heck, let's give it a shot.

Riley was on the horse, so Kathy and I slowly counted from one to ten while she rocked back and forth on the horse. Then we sang out in an jubilant voice "Leah's turn!" Like magic, Riley obediently jumped off the horse and Leah got on. We counted from one to ten again, then sang out "Riley's turn!" Leah giggled, echoed the words "Riley's turn", and then jumped off the horse.

For reasons I do not entirely understand, Leah and Riley frickin' loved this taking turns game. They each would have these huge grins on their face as they gleefully announced the end of their own turn and voluntarily surrendered their treasured toy to their sister. In fact, the girls looked happier when they were surrendering the toy than they did when they were actually playing with the toy. After about five minutes of the game, they started counting to ten on their own and Kathy and I were just sitting back and watching. Oh yeah, that was the other advantage of this game that I forgot to mention. It taught them to count to ten. Within five minutes.

This was a glorious thing. A glorious, glorious thing.

So nowadays, pretty much every time they start to fight over a toy, we tell them to start counting. Here's Exhibit A (apologies if I've already subjected you to this):



Unfortunately, it's now been a few weeks, so the novelty of the game is starting to wear off for the girls, but I'd say the game still works like a charm about 70% of the time. As for the other 30%:

• 10% of the time, Leah says "1" and Riley starts screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and runs away, taking the toy with her.

• 5% of the time, Leah starts counting but Riley keeps her head down and pretends not hear her, then when Leah gets to ten and tries to grab her toy, Riley reacts with exaggerated shock and outrage like a World Cup soccer player.

• 15% of the time, Leah gets to about "5" and an disgusted Riley chucks the toy at Leah, as if to say, "fine, take your stupid toy, I don't like it anyway."
  

So, okay, it's not perfect. But a 70% reduction in fighting - hey, who wouldn't take that deal? Ms. Godsend, wherever you are - thank you.