Balancing the Scales

I know it's a big parenting no-no to say this, because you aren't supposed to compare your kids against each other, but, right now, Riley is way more "impressive" than Leah. Am I going to parent hell for saying that? I am, aren't I?

It's not just me saying that though. When friends come over or when we go over to a friend's house, Leah leaves a decent enough impression, but Riley is usually the one who really turns on the charm. She smiles coquettishly. She flirts. She sings songs. She counts to ten. She remembers people's names. She spins around, giggling, until she falls down. I know I'm biased because I'm her dad and I'm a sucker for all her tricks, but trust me, it's hard to resist.

Meanwhile, Leah sucks her thumb or whines at Kathy to pick her up and/or give her food and/or read her a story. Sure, she can do some of the things that Riley can do, but she sure ain't gonna do it on demand, and she sure as heck ain't gonna do it in front of these perfect strangers staring at her. Who do we think she is, some kinda trained monkey?

And Riley's way ahead right now on the talking. Actually, come to think of it, Leah's ahead on the "talking" but behind on the "talking so people can understand what she's saying". Leah right now talks as if a bee stung her tongue or something and it's too big for her mouth. Riley, on the other hand, can generally repeat things right back to you. For example:

Me: Mmmm! Guacamole!
Riley: Mmmm! Guacamoyee!
Leah: Mmmm! Ca-ca-me!

So anyway, the people visiting or being visited will at some point say something like "Wow, Riley's great!" or "Wow, Riley's advanced!" Then comes a pause, while the person scrambles to figure out a suitable compliment for Leah. AWK-ward!

It's a kinda Catch-22 we're running into with having twins, where whenever you praise one of them for some new accomplishment, you feel guilty about not praising the other one, or you worry about the other one feeling left out. You hug one of them and you have to glance over at the other one to make sure they're not getting jealous.

Well, Riley's been getting heaps of praise lately, and we mustn't let it go to her head, so the rest of this post is hereby dedicated to Leah. Leah, you rock! Here are three great things about Leah:

1. She has this infectious way of displaying excitement, where she squeals, grins ear to ear, and kinda vibrates with joyous energy.
2. She's incredibly sweet when Riley's sad or not feeling well. She gets this concerned furrow in her brow and suddenly starts offering her all her toys one by one.
   
3. Best. Smile. Ever.

Duck Season

The tough part about the girls right now is that they can be so dang possessive. I guess that's supposed to be normal for toddlers to define the entire world in terms of the two categories "mine" and "not mine". But having a twin sister changes things a bit -- with Riley and Leah, there is this extra category thrown into the mix called "hers". And lately, the girls have been getting more and more aware of Category #3.

Like -- first thing in the morning, we take the girls out of their cribs, and Leah will usually walk over to the chair where we've laid out the clothes for the day.

She'll grab a pair of socks. "Leah's socks!" she'll exclaim, holding the socks out for all to observe. Actually, Leah's got a bit of a Daffy Duck lisp these days, so it sounds more like "Leah'thth thockthth!"

Then she'll point to the other pair of socks sitting on the chair. "Riley'th thockth."

Then she'll pick up a shirt. "Leah'th Shut!" she'll exclaim, triumphantly holding the shirt over her head.

Then she'll point to the other shirt sitting on the chair. "Riley'th shut," she'll say parenthetically.

And so on, throughout the day. Leah'th book! (Riley'th book.) Leah'th ball! (Riley'th ball). Good thing we usually have at least two of all the toddler-coveted things in our house, or all hell would be breaking loose.

Luckily, Leah and Riley are learning to share. Kinda. Okay, it's not exactly sharing - more like "taking turns". Actually, it's more like "trading". "Trading" is still sharing, right?

Here's how it goes down.

1. Leah has a doll and Riley has a doll.
2. Leah decides she is dissatisfied with her doll and she wants Riley's (identical) doll.
3. Leah points to Riley's doll, and says "Leah'th!"
4. Riley stares at Leah, stone-faced.
5. Leah tries to grab Riley's doll, and says "Leah'th baby!"
6. Riley stares at Leah, stone-faced.
7. Leah starts pointing and chanting "Leah'th" with increasing urgency and with increasing protrusion of lower lip.
8. After about fifteen seconds of chanting, Riley gives up and hands Leah her doll, simultaneously grabbing the doll formerly known as Leah's doll.
   
9. Leah smiles and runs away excitedly. Riley gives me a look that basically says "Ya see what I gotta put up with?"
   
10. The end.

Now, picture this happening about twelve times a day but replace the word "doll" above with "book" or "ball" or "toy", or, a few minutes ago, (yuck) "toothbrush". That's basically what our life is right now.

Could be worse, I guess.

For Your Entertainment

So the girls just turned 21 months old. I know the karma gods are probably going to smite me for saying this, but dang, they sure are fun right now. I mean, no offense, Leah and Riley, but you used to be pretty frickin' boring. You'd make a funny face once in awhile when you were pooping or something, but otherwise your entertainment value was pretty low. I mean, that's okay, you were concentrating on important stuff like eating and growing and barfing and drooling, but man, watching you used to be a pretty mind-numbing experience.

But the girls have been talking up a storm lately, and as a result the girls are oh-so-much more fun to watch. I mean, it's like every day is an episode of "Full House", with our very own twins saying cute things instead of the Olsen Twins! Um, except, ya know, funny:

[Open Scene]

[Leah and Riley are playing in the kitchen.]

[Leah suddenly stops playing, freezing completely in her tracks.]

Leah (eyes bulging): [grunts]

[pause]

[Leah starts playing again.]

[Riley pauses. She sniffs the air tentatively.]

Riley (frowning and fleeing the room): Stinky!

[Freeze frame on Leah's sheepish grin. Cue audience laughter. Cue wacky sitcom music.]

[End Scene]

Oh c'mon, that's comedy gold right there! No? Hm. Maybe you had to be there.

And then there are the songs. Leah and Riley are big into singing right now, and hearing their songs is one of those things that melts a parent's heart into a mushy pulp. Although musically speaking, it's pretty awful stuff - their 21-month old voices are all out of tune and their songs speed up and slow down with no attention paid to normal musical conventions like time signature and rhythm! And their enunciation! Awful!

Here's my transcription of their recent rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star":

Tway-koh, Tway-koh, Luhd-uh-Stah!
How-why wunna wachoo ah!
Uppa Budda Wuh Ssss Hiyyyyyyy
Ike a Dime-Un In a Skyyyyyyyy
Tway-koh, Luh-Stah-Wunna-Whutchu-Ahhhhh!

It's got a Michael Stipe quality to it, actually. I've tried to capture this on film a few times, because it's pretty freaking awesome, but they never do it quite when I want them to do it. Here's the best we've captured so far, courtesy of Riley:



Needs some work, but hey, we'll let it slide for now.