Mixed Emotions

Kathy and I and the twins were down in LA and San Diego with our families during the holidays, and it was of course nice watching Leah and Riley bond with their two sets of grandparents and uncle, but the whole "unfamiliar territory" thing definitely threw the girls a little off of their game. Riley, for one, was way more clingy to me than usual. She basically just wanted to spend all day holding on to my finger and walking around the room in a circle. Before we left for LA, she had been showing signs of starting to walk on her own, but once we got there, she didn't want to walk anywhere without holding on to daddy's finger. It's definitely flattering at first to have your daughter not want to let go of you -- until about the 8th circle when it gets kinda old, or the 15th circle when it gets really old, or the 29th circle when you'd rather go change a diarrhea-filled diaper than walk in one more cotton-pickin' circle.

Still, at least Riley was a happy clinger. Leah, on the other hand, was a hysterical clinger, which we found out is a whole different ballgame. Leah's a mommy's girl, so Kathy was her object of clinginess. And thank God Almighty and the heavens above for that, because whenever Kathy left Leah's immediate vicinity for any reason - say to go to the bathroom or to grab a kleenex - Leah would instantly start crying the most pitiful, longing, desperate cry that you ever heard.

Kathy and I have over the months built up some emotional resistance to Leah's cries, but I've got to hand it to Leah because she really kicked it up another notch -- I tell ya this cry was heartwrenching. Even though we knew nothing was wrong and Leah just had a case of mommy-itis, the desperation level in the cry was high enough that Kathy would start running back to Leah. Then in mid-run, she would remember, oh wait, I REALLY do need to go to the bathroom here. And so mommy would zip into the bathroom and Leah would go into a full blown tantrum that not even the combined efforts of daddy, grandma, grandpa, "Moo Baa La La La", daddy's keys, and a cup of cheerios could quell.

As a dad, this caused a bunch of complex and conflicting emotions that included (a) concern about Leah's well-being, (b) embarrassment that Leah was acting this way in front of her grandparents, (c) disappointment that Leah's reached the stage where she's trying to manipulate her parents, (d) pride that Leah's now smart enough to try to manipulate her parents, and, I've got to say, (e) relief that I'm not Kathy and can therefore travel freely to and from the bathroom and/or kleenex box as I please.

And then there was the slightest twinge of (f) jealousy that I can't now and never will evoke that strong and visceral of a response from the girls. I find I get this weird jealousy whenever Leah or Riley goes to mommy for comfort instead of me. Hey girls, daddy's here too! Daddy's 50% of your DNA too! Hello? Bueller?

Kathy tells me that it's a rule of nature that when babies are sad or scared, they want their mommy, and I should just learn to accept that. But I say those babies are just discriminating on the basis of gender, and that's just plain wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

On the other hand, if it's a choice between having sexist babies and me not getting to go to the bathroom when I need to because both babies won't let me leave their side, I'm going to have to go with sexist babies.

Kathy, your babies are crying for you.

In the end, the babies got happier and less clingy, and the vacation turned out pretty well with lots of happy times. Observe: