Lost in Translation

I had always thought that my baby's first word would be this big dramatic event like Maggie Simpson's first word, and I would videotape it and broadcast it to my friends and family and CNN and celebrate it with a parade down 24th Street, but apparently the reality is nothing like that at all. I don't have the slightest clue when Leah and Riley said their first word, only the vague sense that whenever the heck it did happen, I definitely missed it.

First, there's the problem of judging what counts as a word. For a few weeks now, whenever Leah drops something or knocks something off a table, she solemnly says "Uh oh". Is "Uh oh" a word? Isn't that two words, actually? "Uh" and "oh" are both in the dictionary, right? Who cares if it doesn't mean anything? Two points for Gryffindor, I say.

Leah and Riley have been saying "mamamama" and "dadadadada" for weeks too, but to paraphrase Inigo Montoya, I don't think those words mean what you think they mean, girls. It's not like they point to Kathy and say "mama" or point to me and say "dada". Basically, when the girls cry, they scream "mamamama!" and when they're happy they chant "dadadada!" So, roughly translated, in Le-Ril language:

• "mamamama" = Life sucks!
• "dadadadada" = Life is good!
  

Read into it what you will, folks.

Of course, when they cry "mamamama", that does make mommy come running, and when they say "dadadada", that does make daddy play with them more. Which is what they want anyway, so maybe they do know what they're saying after all.

The basic problem is that because most of what comes out of their mouths sounds like random babbling, you're not really sure they're actually saying a word until after they say it a hundred times. Like this morning, I think Riley might have said "pebble doth moo", but I think I'll see if she says it again before I jump to any conclusions, like my daughter's on LSD.

Leah has been using one word pretty consistently at meal times: "abwa". As in "agua". As in water. Leah saying "abwa" is pretty easy to miss, since abwa sounds a heckuva lot like random babbling. At first I thought she just liked the sound of the word -- I mean, I can see the appeal, it's a damn fine sounding pair of syllables. Still, when she said "abwa", we would give her water, and she would usually smile and be happy. But nowadays, in the middle of every meal, she'll abruptly stop eating, look one of us square in the eyes, and say "abwa", and dammit, she will not eat another bite until you give her that cup of abwa. That girl knows what she's saying, and she knows that we know what she's saying, and she will not allow her word to go unheeded.

Leah saying "abwa" doesn't necessarily mean she's thirsty, mind you. One out of four times, we'll give her the water bottle and she'll gleefully and ceremoniously throw it to the floor. And of course, you know what she says then: "uh oh".

My thoughts exactly, Leah. Uh oh, indeed.