Happy Birthday to You and You

Leah and Riley turn one this Friday and we've got their birthday party coming up on Saturday. I've been to a few 1-year-old birthday parties now and I find them to be fascinating little curiosities. Are there any other times in life when the guest of honor at a party has absolutely no idea that they're the guest of honor and no idea what the hell is being celebrated? Okay, besides a funeral?

It all must seem very random to the 1-year old who has no idea that he/she has done anything worth celebrating. I enjoy watching the face of the 1-year-old as he or she sits in front of the cake during the Happy Birthday song. Total blankness and non-comprehension. It would make one heckuva poker face. I like to think about what's going through the 1-year-old's head during the Happy Birthday song. Hm - there are a bunch of people gathered around me that I don't recognize, and, um, they are all smiling at me and singing some song I've never heard, and, um, somebody has now shoved a block-shaped thing in front of me that has a picture of Mickey Mouse on it, and um, the block appears to be on fire, but nobody seems to be very concerned about the fire, and, okay, now they're done singing, and now they're clapping and they're looking at me like they're expecting for me to do something. Um--Line?

Babies never really seem to "enjoy" their first birthday parties, and yet parents always insist on throwing them. I never understood why before, but now that my daughters are turning one, I totally get it. 1-year-old birthday parties are not really for the kids -- 1-year-olds don't give a damn about cake or presents or birthday songs or picture-taking strangers. No, the purpose of the 1-year-old birthday party is to celebrate the fact that the parents made it through the year without breaking down or causing injury to themselves or their children.

And I think the importance of this celebration is even greater when there are twins involved. Not to toot our own horn or anything, but getting Leah and Riley to age 1 was pretty darn hard. Not impossible, and not hard all the time, and there were periods where it was actually kinda easy, but overall, it was a pretty difficult and tiring year. A great year, an incredibly rewarding year, but a tiring year nonetheless. I think we've earned some sort of celebration. Heck, Kathy went through twin pregnancy and twin labor and twin non-Ceasarian delivery on top of it, so I'd say she's earned a ticker-tape parade down Market Street, but hey, I think she's willing to settle for some Mitchell's ice cream cake.

I'm fresh out of ticker-tape, but I'm hoping that Leah and Riley will join me on Friday in saying a few words of congratulations to their mom for doing such a great job over the past year. Or as they'll probably put it,: "Dah! Pbbbbthhhh! Meh! Bibibibidibibidibi. Doi-doi-doi. [Clapping.] Dah!"

We made it, Kathy. Now all we have to do is, um, survive the toddler years. How hard could that possibly be?

Wait, don't answer that.