It's a Conspiracy, I Tell You

Last week, Kathy and I took Riley and Leah to visit our respective offices. They were incredibly well-behaved -- they slept through my entire office visit and didn't really cry at all at Kathy's office until just as we were leaving. I'm sure everybody at work must be convinced that our daughters are these perfect little angels and that we must be full of crap with our tales of fussiness and sleep deprivation. This always happens when people visit us too: Leah and Riley are either sleeping or happily cooing away when people are here, but then as soon as the visitors head out the door, they instantaneously turn into banshees and start screaming their cute little heads off.

It's all a bit suspicious if you ask me.

Now that I think of it, the same thing was probably happens when we visit our friends with their new babies. All our friends seem to have such well-behaved babies when we visit them, but maybe it's all an illusion. Maybe, just like Leah and Riley, all those super well-behaved babies transform into snotty brats the second we walk out the door. Hm...

The only explanation I can think of is that all the babies of the world are conspiring to convince all the prospective parents that raising babies is in fact very easy. Those unsuspecting potential parents are lulled into a false sense of confidence ("raising babies looks easy!") and they go ahead and procreate. This then increases the number of babies in the world, bringing them one step closer to their ultimate goal of world domination.

So, beware, all you prospective parents. Do not be fooled by the cute and calm faces you see below.



Babies, the jig is up.