Stupid Consonants

Lately, Kathy and I have developed a somewhat unhealthy obsession with baby milestones. I think it started at the babies' six-month checkup, when they gave us a long checklist of things that a six-month-old should be able to do. The first twenty or so things on the list were things Leah and Riley have been doing for awhile, so we were feeling pretty good. But then we hit Number 21.

21. Can baby pass items from one hand to the other?

Huh? Passing things from one hand to the other is a milestone? If I had known that I probably would've been paying closer attention. I dunno - do they pass things from one hand to the other? They're babies. Why would they want to pass something from one hand to the other? Do they need to pay for something at a drive-thru window or something? What about if they have something in both hands and they take away one of their hands -- does that count? Actually, pretty much everything that Leah and Riley pick up these days goes from their hand directly to their mouth. Does it count if they something goes from their hand to their mouth and then to their other hand? Because I'm pretty sure that happens all the time.

And then we got to Number 24:

24. Can baby say consonant-vowel combinations like "ba-ba" or "ga-ga"?

Leah and Riley have made all kinds of consonant sounds, but it usually only happens when they're trying to make a vowel sound but they have their hand or something in their mouth so it comes out like a consonant. Do hand-assisted consonant sounds qualify? Does a raspberry sound count as a consonant? How about a tongue-clicking sound -- I'm pretty sure that's considered a consonant sound in some African cultures. How about barfing? I think Leah makes an "bleeeh" sound when she spits up -- that's two consonants right there.

So anyway, Kathy and I have now become obsessed with getting Leah and Riley to check these two milestones off their list, lest they fall woefully behind their peers. Watching more closely, we saw that they actually pass things from hand to hand all the time. Who knew? Item 21 - check.

So that leaves the "ba-ba" item. For the past couple weeks, I've been repeating "ba-ba-ba-ba-ba" over and over and over again in the hope that they'll get the hint. They don't say "ba-ba" back, but they do think Daddy saying it is fricking hilarious. Nowadays, the quickest way to get the twins to smile is for Daddy to say "Bah!" over and over like an idiot. So we may be no closer now to checking that milestone off our list, but at least we now have a handy way to make Leah or Riley smile. But I'm okay with that for now -- I've learned you've gotta take your victories where you can get 'em.