Scenes from the Road, Part Deux (Canadian Edition)

• 10:00 AM: Kathy and Dave leave Toronto, where they've spent the last two days with their friends (and excellent hosts) Oliver, Joanne. and Jeffrey. They start driving toward Kingston.
• 1:30 PM: They arrive in Kingston. They intend to walk around the downtown, grab some lunch, and then catch a cruise to the Thousand Islands area at 3 pm. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and all is happy and well with the world.
• 2:00 PM: After walking around the lovely Kingston downtown area, they sit down for lunch at a restaurant with a lovely outdoor patio out front.
• 2:02 PM: A truck parks immediately in front of said restaurant and Dave and Kathy's table. The driver leaves the engine running (very loudly) and then disappears into an adjacent building. Dave and Kathy shrug and hope the truck driver doesn't leave his truck idling in front of their table for too long. They are able to converse by using raised voices, like at a frat party.
• 2:10 PM: Driver has disappeared off the face of the earth. Kathy and Dave's table is also suddenly attacked by one extremely persistent wasp, who finds Dave's Diet Coke especially intriguing. Dave attempts to shake the wasp off the Diet Coke glass, but the wasp drops into the glass, landing delicately on the surface of his Diet Coke. It takes a sip and then jumps back on the glass rim.
• 2:15 PM: Driver of truck appears, loads two small boxes from the truck on to his dollie, and then disappears into the adjacent building. Truck is still loudly idling. Dave and Kathy eat their meal, staring at the truck. Waitress brings a jar of something and says that it's "supposed to drive the wasps away".
• 2:20 PM: A second wasp, apparently attracted by the jar, attacks Kathy's Diet Coke. Driver of truck reappears, then loads two small boxes from the truck on to his dollie, and disappears.
• 2:30 PM: Truck driver returns to truck, gets in the truck, but doesn't drive away. He appears to be reading a magazine of some sort.
• 2:35 PM: Dave and Kathy finish meal. Truck driver, naturally, drives away.
• 2:40 PM: Dave and Kathy pay their bill, then walk over to buy tickets for the 3 pm boat cruise.
• 2:45 PM: Dave and Kathy are informed that the 3 pm boat cruise is sold out. A large gaggle of senior citizens has just bought out the last remaining tickets. Not to worry, though, there is a similar cruise leaving from an nearby town, Ganonoque. They typically run dinner cruises around Thousand Islands area. Dave and Kathy shrug, and leisurely walk around Kingston some more.
• 3:45 PM: Dave and Kathy arrive in Ganonoque and see two ticket booths for Thousand Islands cruises. One is closed. Dave and Kathy go to the other one and ask about cruises and are told the last cruise has left for the day. Dave and Kathy shrug and walk leisurely along the river shore.
• 4:20 PM: Dave and Kathy walk into a visitor information booth and are told that another neighboring town has a 5 pm cruise. This neighboring town, Rockport, is apparently about 20 minutes away. Dave and Kathy sprint back to their car and arrive back at their car at about 4:30.
  
• 4:30 PM: Dave speeds toward Rockport. Kathy is quite panicked. An excerpt of the dialogue in the car:

Kathy: Go, go, go!
Dave: There's an old lady crossing the street.
K: Run over the old lady!
D: Run over the old lady? Why?
K: Cause she's old!
D: I think the impact might slow the car down.
K: [bleep], [bleep], [bleep]-ity [bleep]-ity [bleep].
D: (laughs) What's a [bleep]-ity [bleep]?
K: (laughs, getting a bit punchy) That driver in front of us is [bleep]-ity [bleep]. He's a [bleeping] [bleep]-ster.
D: A [bleep]-ster? That sounds like some kind of adult version of Friendster.
K: Shut up.

• 4:50 PM: Dave and Kathy arrive in Rockport, with ten minutes to spare. Relieved, they walk up to the ticket booth. A women is in the ticket booth busily counting money.
  
• 4:51 PM: Dave and Kathy are told that there is no 5 pm cruise today. An excerpt of the dialogue:

K: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

• 5:00 PM: Dave and Kathy regroup and decide to go to Thousand Islands park, which is just across the bridge from Rockport.
• 5:15 PM: Dave and Kathy cross the bridge and come across a long line of trucks and cars. Dave and Kathy discover that the Thousand Islands park is actually located in the U.S., and not Canada, so they have to go through customs, including an inspection of the contents of the car's trunk.
• 5:45 PM: Dave and Kathy arrive in Thousand Islands park and discover that it is actually a housing development, not a public park. Dave and Kathy dissolve into hysterics, laughing like madmen for the next half hour. They drive to the opposite side of the island in search of some sort of lookout point. They find a semi-okay lookout point, which is infested with mosquitos. They feast on Dave's legs. Hysterical laughter continues.
  

I know it doesn't sound like it, but all this was all quite fun, actually. I swear. For the record, we did finally find a lookout tower that had very nice views of the Thousand Islands area. We took the following picture:



Now, that was worth it, don't you agree? No?